?

Log in

Just in case this gets lost. I'll repost.    
05:04pm 05/09/2010
  Friends cut!

I'll give everyone a week to respond saying they want to stay because I understand that some of you are busy, so this is your notice. If you feel you've been mistakenly cut, leave a message at my friends only sign, or DON'T EXPECT A GODDAMN THING!
 
     

(3fractures | break my bones)

 
R.I.P. Lakota   
03:18pm 18/02/2009
 
mood: sad
Over the past few days, my dog Lakota (Kodi) had become bloated, and his ankles were swelling. My mother and sister brought him to the vet today and it turns out he had liver cancer, and tumor in his lung. My mother had him put down.

He was my very first dog, and was only about nine years old. I will miss him very much.

Photobucket
 
     

(7fractures | break my bones)

 
   
05:48pm 06/03/2008
 
mood: creative
I absolutely love this "story".

Once upon a time at the foot of a great mountain, there was a town where the people known as Happyfolk lived. Their very existence a mystery to the rest of the world, obscured as it was by great clouds. Here they played out their peaceful lives, innocent of the litany of excess and violence that was growing in the world below. To live in harmony with the spirit of the mountain called Monkey was enough. Then one day Strangefolk arrived in the town. They came in camouflage, hidden behind dark glasses, but no one noticed them: they only saw shadows. You see, without the Truth of the Eyes, the Happyfolk were blind.

In time, Strangefolk found their way into the higher reaches of the mountain, and it was there that they found the caves of unimaginable Sincerity and Beauty. By chance, they stumbled upon the Place Where All Good Souls Come to Rest. The Strangefolk, they coveted the jewels in these caves above all things, and soon they began to mine the mountain, its rich seam fueling the chaos of their own world. Meanwhile, down in the town, the Happyfolk slept restlessly, their dreams invaded by shadowy figures digging away at their souls. Every day, people would wake and stare at the mountain. Why was it bringing darkness into their lives?
And as the Strangefolk mined deeper and deeper into the mountain, holes began to appear, bringing with them a cold and bitter wind that chilled the very soul of the monkey. For the first time, the Happyfolk felt fearful for they knew that soon the Monkey would soon stir from its deep sleep. And then came a sound. Distant first, it grew into cacophony so immense it could be heard far away in space.
There were no screams. There was no time.
The mountain called Monkey had spoken.
There was only fire.
And then, nothing.
 
     

(7fractures | break my bones)

 
Adventures in Applebee's.   
04:08pm 15/10/2007
  My darling boyfriend took me to dinner this weekend. We went to Applebee's. Lucky enough, it was pretty empty and we didn't have to wait for a seat. Our waitress greeted us and began naming off things we don't care about. I know how you're supposed to act interested when they do those things (proper restaurant ettiquet), so i gave it a shot. "That's the soup of the day!?" I shreiked, "Oh my God!"*

Somehow I don't think I did it quite right. Everyone seemed so happy. They had a very giddy waitstaff, walking around with smiles plastered on our face. Scary. She left for a minute and we considered our drinks. On the menu, there seemed to be only four choices, Pepsi, Diet Pepsi, Mountian Dew and Sierra Mist. I knew they had more than that. They had to have tea and coffee. They gave us a mixed drink menu as well, and sure enough, there they were. "Oh look, "i said, "they're over here-"

Our waitress ripped it away. She began asking us what we wanted to drink. I was a bit startled but i ordered a raspberry iced tea, steve had a Mountain Dew. She went off to fetch our drinks, still smiling. I was undecisive about what to order, riblets or shrimp fettuccini. We had wanted to go to Olive Garden on Saturday when we went to Burlington, so i opted for the shrimp fettuccini. We ordered two of those and a sampler.

We were sitting there, talking and laughing when out of nowhere, the ground began to shake. Not like an earthquake, but like something very large was coming in our direction. We looked up to see a very big and frightening woman coming towards us. She appeared to be holding our sampler in her gargantuan fist. "Here is your sampler platter." she said as she threw it on our table with a thud. She turned around and marched away. "See," steve said, "I told you we'd have like twenty waitresses."

Shortly after our sampler came it appeared that someone had a birthday. They always like embarassing people on their birthdays in these places. They march out of their kitchen and and clap as they walk to the peoples table, sing or do a little dance or something, and the reciever of such festivities gets a free dessert. I explained this to Steve and he got envious. "I want to be clapped at and given dessert!"

So we got our food and it was delicious. thanks to the sampler we filled up and had to get containers for our leftovers.

...And to think that i wanted to get Chinese food.

*a la Jim Gaffigan.
 
     

(5fractures | break my bones)

 
   
08:00pm 27/08/2007
  I've been thinking of picking this thing back up, but i don't know. no one reads it, i'm sure, so i guess it'll be okay. depends on if i remember this tomorrow or not.  
     

(break my bones)

 
go around, go around, and around.   
09:10pm 09/01/2007
 
mood: apathetic
So here i am, at Dana's house again. I figure, why not write something in my LJ. I can't seem to bother with writing in my personal journal anymore and typing is easier, sooo...

I know i'm waaaay late, but thank your shiney suit-and-tie christian God that Tarrant didn't win. Dirty fucking republican, he's one of Bush's cronies. Actually, I'm not so sure Bush is the one who's in charge of this shit, I'm sure that if you looked close enough you'd see he's a marionette, not even a real person. No, no, he'd be more of a muppet, but that's besides the point. They're really pushing for that New World Order bullshit, aren't they? But they didn't get Vermont, which is why i've now aquired a taste for this place. And who does he think he is? Moreover, who does he think WE are? Those slanderous commercials against Bernie, and he didn't even tell the whole fucking truth. The worst part is the few sad motherfuckers that fell for it. Bernie voted against a bill saying that a woman who is raped has the right to know her rapists name IN COURT. Meaning the court would know personal information. But Tarrant left out that very important last piece, the part that goes against the constitution. he ends it with "what's happened to Bernie?"
OOOHH sad sad. And his dirty commercials were made right from the shithole of America, Hollywood. I'm glad he wasted his money, and he certainly did. About $100,000. He had some kind of meet-and-greet dinner a while back, and i wish i knew about it because i wanted to go. I wanted to see this sham of a person in real life.

But now Vermont has to look out, because they won't stop there. Next thing you know there'll be (more) subliminal advertising and meds being doled out to us vermonters so we can absorb it properly. But why do i care? I'm moving to canada. And i'm never seeing a psychiatrist again. I mean it's common knowlege that the ones around here are fucking stupid, but I don't need them trying to tell me that my concerns are unreasonable and that i need to be on medicines X, Y, and Z. I know i'm not wrong. They're the ones who are wrong.

goodnight.
 
     

(break my bones)

 
My new disease is trendy.   
08:52pm 29/12/2006
  I'm at Dana's house, using his slow as fuck computer. What can i say? Yesterday was Steve and I's 7 month anniversary. Unfortunately, we couldn't really do anything. We managed, we see each other every day. Until our one year I don't think it's too important to make a big deal out of it. It's called an anniversary for a reason, after all.

Now i shall write about my new living arrangement. Steve's mum is nice, his brother is cute. I gave him all my old Pokemon toys for christmas and he nearly pooped himself. We also bought him four packs of pokemon cards and, guess what, he got a holographic first addition Charizard in one of them. Holy hell. The most coveted card in all of...pokemon cards. He's a lucky kid. I found what i assume was probably the last copy of The Legend Of Zelda-Twilight Princess in new england (not on reserve, that is) and bought it for steve for christmas. He was very happy, and it made me happy. There's also Peanut, the 6 month old pomeranian. He's my new Googly bear, considering the fact that Terrance has taken to my mother now. Even Kira is coming around and letting me pet her. They're making me feel welcome. I had a long talk with Gidget today, it was one of those conversations in which you finish each others sentances because you know exactly what they're talking about. It was a relief.

I wasn't planning on coming to windsor for a little while, but the past few days i've been feeling shitty, emotionally. I'd stopped eating and socializing with the people i live with, and i was either seething or crying with rage for most of my awake time. I figure i'd rather get away then have a breakdown right infront of my new family. That didn't work out. My grandparents are here and my mother changes her personality with every person she's around. So, so far, I'm not being consoled at all. Not that i expected them to drop everything and hold me like i'm a baby. I just miss being alone with my mum. Oh well, I'll just have to content myself with hiding her pills.

Being forced to live on my own and communicating with people outside of my family has helped with my point of view. (And, by the way, there is absolutely nothing wrong with changing your point of veiw, as long as it's for the better. There's nothing wrong with growing and changing as a person. I'm young, i can't be expected to think the way i do forever, it comes with growing and change of situations and envioronment. to never change is to always stay stupid.) It's just too bad that the people I've established as friends have turned out to be sad, pathetic people and i'm left as a shut-in yet again. This time i actually have somebody, though. Despite living together since the first few weeks of our relationship, he and i are a strong couple and the best of friends. It's better to be alone then to settle for people I don't honestly like. And what are friends in the grand scheme of things? I don't need them. Friends are nice, but they're not nessecary. Sick sick sick, people are fucking stupid. And i no longer find it nessecary to dumb myself down with drugs so i can find my common ground with them. That's all it was. Fuck. Only now, i don't know where i'm going or what i'm doing. I don't want to be a part of any stupid organization. I don't want a job.

I hate the paranoia. The whole "big brother is watching". People try to convince me that it's unreasonable but look out your fucking window, turn on the news. Fucking cellphones that can track your every mood if you're in their network. People are going to end up dead because of that. And so i sit in the basement, waiting for something to happen. It never does. People don't just open their eyes and say "hey, this is stupid." They don't even bother to question what the point of all this is. Why did we fight so hard about freedom when all it got us was MTV? It got us perfume commercials that portray elegance and power, even though it costs $80 a bottle and smells like lysol. So many promises in this world, so many not even intended to be kept. So, here i sit. And i wait. I entertain myself by making fun of everything and complaining about how ironic and stupid everything and everyone is. But when do i do something about it? When CAN i do something about it. I don't want to be a dirty politicion, i don't want to become famous in order to get my message across. I don't want them to get me. TV is made to dumb people down so they're easier to control. And i can't even fucking BELIEVE i ever wanted to become a part of it. I'm glad i eventually opened my eyes and saw what everything really was. But where is my fun now? How can i enjoy my own smarts when it seems that not one other person is intellegent enough to notice how crap everything is. I almost wish i were a bit more stupid.

Where did my piece of mind go?
 
     

(2fractures | break my bones)

 
It's been a while.   
12:56pm 03/10/2006
 
mood: fucking irritated
So, it's been a few months. The internet has ceased to amuse me anymore. I can't seem to find a use for it. I never thought the day would come, but apparently it has.
I've started a new blurty, but i can never manage to write in it. I figure i might as well use this instead of a whole new one. I doubt people still read it anyway, so it doesn't really matter what i say.

I've really been creative lately. Painting, drawing, writing with some importance. I guess it explains why i don't really need my livejournal anymore. Anything i have to say with some purpose has been written in the notebook i keep.
There has been some troubles along the way, and i've really been thinking. I have made some mistakes, but i can't change it or make it right. It doesn't really matter, because people i've made these mistakes with are only human and it will always disgust me on some level.

I think about how lucky dogs are. As a child, i desperately wanted to be a dog, or any sort of animal. I used to crawl around on my hands and knees until they were scraped up and everyone had to address me as if i were an animal. Ahh, the imagination of children. But even now, as a somewhat more mature adult, I still envy the carefree life of animals. Now, they do have their own worries, i realize this. there's the search for food, natural enemies, bothersome humans, etc. But the stress they encounter is no where near the stress that we as "intellegent" beings (that, of course, is an arguable statement) have to deal with. As is, i sort of pride myself on the fact that i don't feel my life depends on useless gadgets and the latest technologies. Of course, as you see, i do have a computer, and i even admit to having a nintendo DS. It's just seems like a tireless fight, you finally get the latest device, and just as you're sitting down on your couch and playing it, you see a commercial for something that's shinier, more blinking lights and shit like that. And you're left with something that is all of a sudden out of date.
Like those phones with cameras, videogames, all sorts of shit that beeps and flashes. It's a CELL PHONE. It's a portable phone, based on the stationary telephone, used to contact others. Do you really NEED to have everything it takes to survive in one little device? Of course, i admit it's a pretty exciting idea. I am human, after all. I am, by nature, lazy. But have you seen the PRICE of those things!? People who are lower middle class/poor even own them. If you don't have an abundance of money, why don't you use it to feed your family. Possibly move into a better apartment? and as for the rich, you could use that money to donate to a charity. Not that i'm one to talk, I don't donate to charities. I might if i trusted that the money really went to the cause.

Oh good, my mother is eating cereal right in my ear. She grunts and snorts when she eats. I am annoyed.
...And how did i end up ranting about cell phones? the point is, almost everyone is stupid. the end.
 
     

(2fractures | break my bones)

 
april fools day   
07:37pm 01/04/2006
  you're not kidding.  
     

(2fractures | break my bones)

 
rats!   
03:22am 31/03/2006
  I just watched my handicapped rat (lost movement of his leg due to a stroke) attempt to scratch his back, lose balance due to his bum leg and tip over. He then rolled around on his back like a turtle flipped over on it's shell, for about 5 seconds.
I feel horrible for laughing, but GOD DAMN that was funny.

Now i have to go make sure he's okay.


Image hosting by TinyPic

yep, he's fine. silly rat.
 
     

(1fracture | break my bones)

 
   
12:42am 11/03/2006
  if you can see this and nothing else, then i think you know why.  
     
 
Friends only, again.   
10:38pm 27/07/2005
  Having a hard time minding your own business? Here, let me help you.


Image hosted by TinyPic.com


Friends only!
 
     

(14fractures | break my bones)